Love – Part 9. Yes, We Can be Singles and Just Friends.

Hello everyone. Tulisan ini muncul setelah pembicaraan larut malam dengan salah seorang sahabat saya.

It started when I posted a digital drawing using a gadget called ga***y note, which isn’t mine. Jadi teman saya yang awalnya nanyain gambar, terus nanyain apakah saya beli gadget baru? Waktu saya bilang, bukan itu gadget teman kantor saya, dia lanjut jawab: “ciee, siapa tuh…” (harap dicamkan bahwa pembicaraan ini tidak akurat, as per usual with all my other posts). Saat itulah muncul celetukan saya: “susah ya jadi cewek single, dicurigain mulu”. No hard feelings for her because I know she really means well, and we’re very close so it’s acceptable. But, some other people are thinking that they can make that kind of comment even though they don’t know the other person very well.

Well, that’s the truth for many of us singles, that every time we had an interaction with our opposite sex or any possible romantic partner, people will almost automatically assume that we want to mate (for lack of better words). Bahkan dengan posting foto platonis berdua bareng salah satu junior kampus saya yang cowok dan single, saya dapat komentar: udah, sama dia aja, pantes kok, cocok kok, dia baik kok, bla, bla, bla.

Yang saya permasalahkan sebenarnya lebih ke asumsi bahwa semua orang single itu pasti sedang mencari pasangan. Actively searching. Like, turning every rocks to find another single available person to be the one. Semacam ga bisa lihat cowok/cewek single dianggurin, maka cewek/cowok single lain pasti akan berusaha menjadikan mereka pasangan.

Flash news, ADA lho orang-orang yang memang, honestly, truthfully, enjoying being single. Banyak lho single yang memang nyaman aja berteman dengan opposite sex tanpa berpikir untuk menjadikan mereka calon potensial. Dengan banyaknya komen-komen semacam itu, kadang yang berteman biasa-biasa aja jadi canggung karena takut dicurigain. Single dan tidak kesepian itu sangat bisa dilakukan kok. Single by choice adalah suatu hal yang memang benar-benar ada, bukan mitos atau pembenaran dari kaum single. Being in a relationship doesn’t make anybody becoming superior, especially if you’re in a crappy one. Being happy in a relationship is a good thing, but being single and happy is something to be proud of too.

Kalau berargumen bahwa itu bentuk perhatian atau doa, mbok ya ditanya dulu sama yang bersangkutan, apakah dia nyaman dan ga keberatan dengan perhatian semacam itu? Atau mendingan, sekalian deh ditawarin dikenalin sama yang memang sedang mencari kalau bersedia. Jangan berasumsi bahwa defaultnya manusia single itu mencari jodoh.

Mungkin saya harus sampaikan juga kalau saya belum sampai tahap sebel sih sama perhatian semacam ini. I just brush it off, for now. Cuma jadi semakin mencermati, betapa rikuhnya jadi manusia single, mau foto bareng atau pinjem gadget aja dicurigai…

Comfort Zone.

Hello, it’s me. It’s been so long since I wrote anything worth reading, hahaha. Seringkali saya jadi agak minder kalau baca tulisan teman2 saya (entah di blog atau di facebook), karena somehow saya jadi merasa kalau saya sekarang jadi terlalu nyaman dengan rutinitas. I got too comfortable in  my comfort zone. Well, it takes time for me to be in this zone, because I kinda had a rough patch last year, so maybe my question is, is it not good to be in a comfort zone for too long?

 I believe that to write something, I need to be inspired, by something, by anything. And being comfortable can only provide so much inspiration. You stop looking into something that might challenge you, or pull you out of your zone. I got lazy doing anything that might screw up my routines. I’ll get defensive when something got a little too interesting, because there might be a price to pay to enjoy it, and I’ve struggled so hard to be this in this position.

 So, do I want to write again? Sure. But do I want to get out of my comfort zone to accomplish it? I don’t know. But then again, maybe, if I look hard enough, there are tons of things that can get me inspired, without being too pulled out of my zone, I just haven’t spend the time or effort to do it. I want to start though. I feel like my brain is just being dormant right now. I really do hope that I can write a long post like before, and not just some journey or sketch posts. See you soon. Hopefully. 😀

Love – Part 8. The Conclusion of 7 Years: Loving Oneself.

Hi everyone. It’s been such a long time. I got busy in the past few months because of some major changes in my workplace. I hope life hasn’t left me behind as I’m trying so hard to catch up. I mentioned about some life changing event happened to me sometimes ago, and I think I want to write it here, as a theraphy (kind of) in my healing process.

That lingering question: “what if the one that got away came back?”, I think I’ve come to an answer. They got away because of some reasons, and many times, it’s better to stay that way.

So my story started about 8 years ago. When I met someone so peculiar, and I happened to fall for him head over heels in just a matter of months. We’ve always been friends, until 4 years ago, when we decided to plan our future together. The thing is, we’ve never been in constant communication. He was always the loner type, and I somehow always found some way to rationalize every single thing he did, no matter how crazy it was in other people’s point of view. I always think that I’m the only one who will be able to understand him, and it will be hard for him if I left his side. We lost contact several times, I dated other people in between, but it never worked because I always feel like I had unfinished business with him, and every time he came back, I would always accept him with open arms, pretending like everything was fine, like we were always meant to be together in the end.

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Strawberry Cheesecake on the 9th.

So today is, … well, umm,… my birthday. And I kinda have a mixed feeling about it. Everybody always say to be happy in your birthday, hence, the “happy birthday” remark. But it’s a harsh reminder of how the time will just keep going no matter how much you want it to pause. So now I’m officially in my late 20’s, and I still have no idea what I would do about my life. But I guess it’s not uncommon. I spent the first half of this year in a near depressive state, and I’m so grateful that I’ve been getting a lot better the past couple months. And I guess, having no idea about my life could ease my expectation a little, because if the past had taught me anything, it’s that no matter how carefully planned your future is, you would still have to accept every outcome, as long as you’ve tried your best to execute it, just enjoy the ride. And one thing for sure, every wound heals, no need to rush.

On another note, I got a strawberry cheesecake today, and strawberry cheesecake could only mean happiness.

Strawberry Cheesecake

Suka Duka Lajang Perantauan Jakarta

Apa kabarrr? It’s a long weekend here in this country, dan saya ga bisa pulang kampung karena tabungan abis dipake buat beli tiket Lebaran yang harganya sudah hampir mendekati spektakular buat PNS macam saya yang da aku mah apa atuh cuma upil yang kamu elap ke bawah meja habis bayar kost langsung wajib tirakat dan hemat. Sekali lagi ada yang bilang “kan jadi PNS enak, ceperannya banyak”, atau “Saya sudah cek, gaji PNS itu sudah hampir 15 juta take home pay-nya” (Gundulmu amoh, Pak!), ayok tinggal sama saya sebulan aja deh, saya kasih laporan keuangan saya gimana? Bukan, saya bukan ga bersyukur kok, Alhamdulillah luar biasa saya sudah bisa dapat kerjaan dengan gaji yang labil keluar tiap bulan, cuma sekali-sekali pengen mengunyel-unyel jidat orang yang menyamaratakan gaji semua PNS.

Ah, sudahlah, kembali ke topik.

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Just Another Rubbish.

It’s no wonder that humans’ lifespan decreasing overtime.

We get angry at the smallest comment we read.
We get envious at the smallest things that other people “share”.
We get anxious over unreplied messages we sent.
We feel miserable at the number of “likes” and comments on our posts.
We attack people in the opposite side.
We create all this other persona of ourselves just to get the smallest sign of recognition or admiration.

When do people stop being so lighthearted?
Do we really forget how to stop for a moment, and just laugh, wholeheartedly, at ourselves, just being completely, and honestly making fun of ourselves?

But then again, when we, alone, do it, with no one else joining, will we still be able to think that we’re sane?